The Executive’s Guide to Flourishing: How To Avoid The Leadership Trap:

The Leadership Trap: Why Self Criticism is Holding You Back (and What to Do About It)

As a senior leader you operate under immense pressure. The expectations are high, the scrutiny relentless, and the stakes are massive.
In this environment, many executives fall into a destructive habit of self criticism and judgment.

It’s easy to justify this behaviour. After all, isn’t holding ourselves to the highest standards part of what makes us successful?

Yes, but there’s a difference between healthy self-awareness and relentless self-judgment. The latter is not a badge of honour, it’s a performance killer. It’s a trap!

The Cost of Your Inner Critic

For many executives, self criticism is the constant background noise in their minds:

❌ “I should have handled that better.”

❌ “I’m not doing enough.”

❌ “I am not enough!”

This internal dialogue doesn’t make you a better leader, it limits your effectiveness and harms your health.

Personally, it leads to stress, burnout, and decision fatigue.

Organisationally, it stifles innovation, risk-taking, and collaboration.

If leaders are afraid to admit mistakes or ask for help, so is everyone else. And that’s when serious issues get buried instead of solved.

The Antidote? Self Compassion.

Self-compassion is not self-indulgence.

It’s not about lowering the bar or avoiding accountability.

It’s about giving yourself the same understanding and support that you’d offer a valued colleague or friend.

When leaders practice self-compassion, everything shifts:

✅ You can recover from setbacks faster.

✅ You can make clearer, better quality decisions.

✅ You can sleep better and have more energy

✅ You can create psychological safety, creating teams that are open, innovative, adaptable, and high performing.

✅ You can enjoy leadership and flourish

How to Cultivate Self Compassion as a Leader?

If you want to shift from self criticism to self-compassion, here’s where to start:

1. Develop Greater Emotional Regulation Skills

Emotional regulation helps you become aware of negative self talk before it spirals. A few rhythmic breaths is a great start, see our practices page if you want more detailed guidance.

2. Change Your Inner Dialogue

Next time you catch yourself being harsh, pause. Would you say the same thing to a colleague or friend? Reframe it with the kindness and balance you’d offer someone else.

3. Guided Practices

When starting out or pushed for time a 10-minute guided meditation can make a huge difference. Try the guided practices on this Insight Timer playlist

4. Normalise Open Conversations

The best leaders role model self compassion out loud. They talk about challenges, share what they’ve learned from failure, and create environments where others feel safe doing the same.

The Leadership Shift Starts with You

The most successful leaders aren’t the ones who never make mistakes. They’re the ones who learn, adapt, and move forward without self-sabotage.

 So, the next time your inner critic speaks up, ask yourself:

 “Is this thought making me a better leader or just a more stressed one?”

Avoid the leadership trap of self criticism. Self compassion isn’t weakness. It’s a strategic advantage.

And when leaders embrace it, they don’t just improve their own effectiveness, they transform their teams and organisations results too.

It is vitally important for you, your team and organisation to be kind to yourself too. Begin practising now.